Divorce as a Single Mom: The Hardest Goodbye and the Greatest Growth
By a mom who never thought she’d be on this side of the fence...
Divorce is not just the signing of papers. It is the dismantling of a dream.
I’ve been divorced for four years. It has been, by far, the ugliest, most complicated, and most transformative season of my life. There is a strange kind of growth that only comes from having everything you thought defined you suddenly fall apart.
When you get married, it feels like you’ve reached a milestone, like you’ve finally arrived at something that makes you “whole.” You build a life around we. You build routines, traditions, and a shared identity.
Then one day, after signing those papers, reality hits:
It’s just you.
And everything has changed.
If you’re a single mom navigating divorce right now, I want you to know you are not alone.
The Identity Shift: From “We” to “I”
You never realize how co-dependent you are until independence is all you have.
Marriage is teamwork. Divorce is self-reliance.
There’s a quiet shock that happens when you move from:
“What are we doing?”
“What am I doing?”
That shift can feel isolating. Suddenly you’re making decisions alone. Parenting alone. Carrying emotional weight alone. Financial responsibilities may feel heavier. The silence in the house feels louder.
And sometimes, the married couples who once understood you seem to step back. You can feel like the “odd one out,” navigating a world that looks different from where you now stand.
That loneliness is real. And it matters.
What DIVORCE Really Meant to Me
Over time, I began breaking the word down. Here’s what I discovered:
D — Division
Divorce creates division in the home, in routines, in holidays, and sometimes in friendships. Family dynamics shift. Children split time. Traditions look different. The emotional division can feel just as heavy as the physical one.
I — “I” Instead of “We”
The “we” becomes “I.” You are no longer a team. The partnership dissolves. Decisions that once required conversation now require courage.
This is also where rediscovery begins.
V — Victory
This one may surprise some people.
Victory isn’t about winning. It’s about breathing again.
When you’ve been in something that was painfully hard, walking away can feel like survival. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do for your mental health and for your children is choose peace over appearance.
O — Opposition
Divorce can feel like war. Legal battles. Custody disagreements. Emotional stand-offs. Even internal conflict questioning your choices, your worth, your future.
Opposition tests you in ways you never expected.
R — Resentment
Resentment over what didn’t change.Resentment over what should have been different.Resentment toward yourself for staying too long or leaving too soon.
Unprocessed resentment can quietly affect your mental health, your parenting, and future relationships.
E — End of an Era
This is the part people don’t talk about enough.
It’s grief.
Even if the marriage was broken. Even if leaving was necessary. It is still the end of a chapter you once believed would last forever.
And grief deserves space.
The Growth No One Warns You About
Here’s the part I didn’t expect:
Growth.
Being forced into independence reveals strengths you never knew you had. You learn:
How capable you really are
How resilient you can become
How deeply you can rebuild
How to set boundaries
How to identify co-dependent patterns
How to choose differently next time
Divorce doesn’t just end a marriage, it introduces you to yourself.
And sometimes, for the first time, you meet the strongest version of you.
Mental Health After Divorce: Why Support Matters
Divorce impacts more than your relationship status. It affects:
Anxiety levels
Depression symptoms
Self-worth
Parenting confidence
Trust in future relationships
Financial stress
Social identity
For single moms especially, the pressure can feel overwhelming. You’re healing while still showing up for your children every single day.
That’s why mental health support during and after divorce is not a luxury, it’s a necessity.
Talking through resentment. Processing grief. Understanding co-dependency. Learning healthy boundaries. Rebuilding identity.
These are not signs of weakness.
They are signs of healing.
If You’re in the Aftermath of Divorce
If you feel like the odd one out…If you’re exhausted from being strong…If you don’t recognize yourself anymore…If you’re grieving something you also know needed to end…
You are not broken.
You are rebuilding.
And rebuilding is messy before it becomes beautiful.
Divorce may have been the end of an era, but it is not the end of your story.
It's a reminder of the woman you were meant to be from the very beginning: whole, deeply loved, and true to yourself.
About Open Door Talk
At Open Door Talk, we understand that divorce is more than a legal process, it’s an emotional journey. If you are navigating life after divorce and need support, our mental health professionals are here to walk alongside you.
You don’t have to do this alone.